Archive for April, 2006
Cunt Licking Good
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006This Farmy chick is just too hot for words!!! In fact she’s just hot for a fuck!!! See as she seduces your beastly side in four hot images of bestial desire!!! Only here at Farm Fuckfest!!!
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DOGS IN HEAVEN
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006DOGS IN HEAVEN
An old man and his dog were walking down this dirt road with fences on both sides, they came to a gate in the fence and looked in, it was nice – grassy, woody areas, just what a ‘huntin’ dog and man would like, but, it had a sign saying ‘no trespassing’ so they walked on.
They came to a beautiful gate with a person in white robes standing there. “Welcome to Heaven” he said. The old man was happy and started in with his dog following him. The gatekeeper stopped him. “Dogs aren’t allowed, I’m sorry but he can’t come with you.”
“What kind of Heaven won’t allow dogs? If He can’t come in, then I will stay out with him. He’s been my faithful companion all his life, I can’t desert him now.”
“Suit yourself, but I have to warn you, the Devil’s on this road and he’ll try to sweet talk you into his area, he’ll promise you anything, but, the dog can’t go there either. If you won’t leave the dog, you’ll spend Eternity on this road.”
So the old man and dog went on. They came to a rundown fence with a gap in it, no gate, just a hole. Another old man was inside.
“Scuse me Sir, my dog and I are getting mighty tired, mind if we come in and sit in the shade for awhile?”
“Of course, there’s some cold water under that tree over there. Make yourselves comfortable”
“You’re sure my dog can come in? The man down the road said dogs weren’t allowed anywhere.”
“Would you come in if you had to leave the dog?”
“No sir, that’s why I didn’t go to Heaven, he said the dog couldn’t come in. We’ll be spending Eternity on this road, and a glass of cold water and some shade would be mighty fine right about now. But, I won’t come in if my buddy here can’t come too, and that’s final.”
The man smiled a big smile and said “Welcome to Heaven.”
“You mean this is Heaven? Dogs ARE allowed? How come that fellow down the road said they weren’t?”
“That was the Devil and he gets all the people who are willing to give up a life long companion for a comfortable place to stay. They soon find out their mistake, but, then it’s too late. The dogs come here, the fickle people stay there. GOD wouldn’t allow dogs to be banned from Heaven. After all, HE created them to be man’s companions in life, why would he separate them in death?”
Horse Banging On The Farm
Friday, April 21st, 2006Tips for your dog!
Thursday, April 20th, 20064 important tips to help get rid of your dog’s bad breath
Dog breath can be one of the most nauseating smells to most people. Everyone loves to run up and pet a dog when they see it walking with its owner but it is a huge turn off if your dog’s breath smells like week old trash!
If your dog has a problem that is causing his breath to wreak of bad odor, then the chances are that the root cause is plaque. With easy care you can turn those dog teeth around to brand new. Below are some tips:
1. Start off by getting into a routine of brushing your dog’s teeth about twice per day, just like you probably do for your own teeth. Remember, a dog’s teeth will develop plaque just like our own do and if you have not brushed your dog’s teeth in a long time then you can probably imagine what it would be like for your mouth if you went the same amount of time without brushing.
2. Brush your dog’s teeth from the time they are a puppy. Attempting to brush a full grown adult dog’s teeth for the first time will probably prove to be disastrous because it’s quite an odd experience having something jammed up in their mouths. So, if you do have a puppy or are planning on getting one then it would behoove of you start the teeth-brushing ritual early so that when the dog becomes an adult it will be conditioned to the experience of having its teeth brushed.
3. Try feeding your dog carrots as an afternoon snack. Be sure that they remain raw when you feed your dog because they act as a gentle ‘tooth scraper’ which helps to rub away the plaque.
4. Trade in the canned food for hard food. I realize that your dog probably loves the soft texture and the juicy flavor of his favorite canned food but your dog’s dental health will improve with hard foods, should you make the switch. A major benefit to switching to dry food is that the odor of the dog’s mouth clears up. This happens because the hard dry dog food acts as a ’scraper’ to the plaque.
Snake Seduction
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006Snake Seduction
Hi, name is Des. I know its weird, but snakes have always fascinated me. Most girls are afraid of them, but I think they are incredible creatures. I also keep two corn snakes as pets, named Mamba & Viper. They are about 4.5′ feet long and a good 1.5-2 inches wide, light orange with gray diamond shaped dark patches. And they’re very gentle as they can be. I have raised them they were only babies. They have never bitten me, not even tried, well… maybe except when they were little and nipping everything. But, never since then.
So, you wanna know just how exactly did this strange habit of mine start, you ask? Well, I usually have one of the snakes draped around my neck when I am in my room. I love my snakes and they like to spend time out of their aquariums with me. Sometimes I will put a bit of a treat on my hand or shoulder. They can always tell the difference between the treat & my skin. Well, one day I was surfing the net and getting very horny. I was looking at some images at this one site and boy, did it get my juices flowing. I kept rummaging through this site and the next thing you know there are bestiality pictures on my screen. You know those pop-up ads that are always showing up when you are surfing a porn site. I remember myself thinking, “How in the world can anyone have sex with an animal?”
But, as I stared at the pictures on the screen my curiosity was peaked. I clicked onto the link & saw for the first time a woman being fucked by a dog. My pussy became wetter and wetter. I could not believe I was turned on by this. They had an “eel” category, so I clicked on it. Ohmigod! Right there on the screen of my computer was a girl with her legs spread wide open with the tail end of an eel slithering out of her pussy! I really got horny then. I could not believe it! I looked at picture after picture and my panty crotch was soaking wet!
Now, you all know how snakes have an incredible sense of smell. Well, Mamba started his way down to investigate the source of this overpowering smell that was coming from my nether regions. I did not think anything of it at first. The snakes are always moving around when they get tired of one spot. Mamba’s head was right at my crotch. His tongue kept darting in & out of his mouth. He was enjoying the scent of my sopping wet pussy. I do not know what came over me, but the next thing you know I had dropped my shorts and panties onto the floor and spread my legs wide open. I moved over to the bed and pulled my knees up to my chest.
Mamba’s head went between my legs and was bumping against my labia. Oh God, it felt good! It was so wicked! It turned me on like I had never been before.
After realizing that there was nothing for him down there Mamba started to make his way back up to my shoulder. I stopped him in his tracks and put him back down between my legs. I took a hold of his tail and snaked it between my outer lips. I used it to rub my clit and I was getting all worked up. Mambas didn’t seem to mind this handling of him so I kept it up. I took Mamba’s tail and started to work it into my sopping wet hole. It really felt good. His skin is a little rough & added a sensation that I have never had before. He had just shed his skin a couple of days ago, so this was new skin. The new scales added bumps and grooves that I felt as I pushed more and more of his body into my pussy.
Snakes are very flexible and as I pushed more in it was as if he curved on himself inside my tight hole. I was feeling very full, but wanted more. Then I started playing with my clit. I figured Mambas could exit my vagina at his own pace and that it would seriously get me off. You know, the not having control over it and not being able to tell him what to do. Shit, I was already creaming over the thought. Mamba started to slither away and as he started to slowly exit my body, I screamed out in pleasure. It felt like nothing I had ever experienced before. It felt like he would never get all of his body out of my pussy. He met no resistance and to add to my pleasure he went straight up, right over my clit! Oh, shit! It was so intense! The orgasm was the most intense one I have ever had in my life, even to this day. It started when Mamba brought his head back towards my pussy lips and kept sniffing the air with his tongue. Every few times his tongue would actually make contact with my clit. I had my knees pulled all the way to my chest so my pussy was spread as wide as I could get it. My clit was hard as it could be and defiantly out from under its hood. When I felt his forked tongue touch my clit for the first time, he set off my orgasm.
My legs pulled themselves back even further on their own in order to open my pussy up more so I let go of them then started to pinch and roll my nipples. I pinched them so hard that I had a tear form in the corner of my eye, but it felt soooo good that I could not stop.
My orgasm continued the entire time Mamba got out of me. My pussy was spasming repeatedly and my clit was throbbing and I felt this extreme urge to piss, but I knew I could not piss and climax at the same time. Ands then there was this shot of fluid from my pussy as Mamba came all the way out. Wow! There was nothing I could do except let my legs flop down to the bed and try to control my breathing as my pussy and clit continued to spasm over and over again. Then I reached down, put two fingers up inside my pussy, and brought them to my clit. I started to rub and circle my nub, knowing that I could make myself climax again if I did it just right. I used one hand to spread my lips wide and the other to grab hold of my clit very tight. Then I took my clit between my fingertips and rolled it like I do to my nipples. As I started to cum again I pinched my clit for all it was worth. The intensity of my second orgasm soared to new heights. Wow!
I do not know how long I lay there. I finally managed to calm myself down to sit up and gaze at my snakes who are both now curled up on the floor. I felt myself getting wet again as I stared at them. Maybe next time, I will try them both at the same time!
the end?
Kinky Kennel
Monday, April 17th, 2006Dog fuck is really kinky!!! Just look and see!!!


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Tips… tips… and more tips!
Thursday, April 13th, 2006Brushing Dogs’ Teeth
Brushing your dogs’ teeth is just good dental hygiene. Most vets recommend that it be done at least twice a week to ensure your dog maintains healthy teeth and gums. If you’ve not been doing this (and, unfortunately, many people don’t) it’s never too late to start. The dog should have its own toothbrush and special toothpaste designed for dogs. Make sure you brush the back teeth in small circles, the same way you would your own, and brush up and down the length of the “pointy” canine teeth. Dog toothpaste is made to have a pleasing taste (for the dog, don’t try it yourself) and this should make the dog willing to let you perform this activity.
Private First Class Gets Head banged by a Desert Tortoise or How a US Fort in Nevada Got Its Mascot
Tuesday, April 11th, 2006Private First Class Gets Head banged by a Desert Tortoise or How a US Fort in Nevada Got Its Mascot
Hello. It is me again and I want to share to you a funny thing that happened to a friend of mine. You see he is a soldier. And since I don’t want him to come running after me with nothing less than a grenade and a Magnum Semiautomatic caliber pistol, let’s call him… Sherwin. Private First Class Sherwin, US Special Forces, stationed at…. Well, I wouldn’t want a whole battalion of grunts and officers running after my poor battered hide now, would I? So let’s just say it happened in a US Fort stationed in a desert which is also the home of a certain endangered desert tortoise that figures well in my story. Oh well, on my story…
Private First Class Sherwin and the entire fellow battalion were undergoing a desert training exercise that day. I don’t know much about the army, but I have this impression that it’s kinda like a paint ball war, only you’ll have to dig up and sleep in your own fox holes and stuff. Any way he and two of his fellow grunts were holed up in their little fox hole that night and very, VERY tired and sleepy and you would too if you had ran all around Fort Ir…. I mean, a desert area, carrying around what seemed like 50 kilograms of stuff on your back and that does not include weapons and ammo. And so, like I said, those three grunts were very tired and sleepy but like good soldiers, they decided to take shifts in night sentry. Yeah, like someone would actually come and blow them off with a rocket launcher during a TRAINING exercise in Fort Ir… I mean in their OWN Fort. But then again this is a democratic country and if our generals couldn’t see the logic in that who are we to say otherwise, huh? Well, anyhow, back to the story, PFC Sherwin chose to take the first shift, while the other two, Mike and Ian, decided to take the second and third shifts respectively.
Anyway, PFC Sherwin was there sitting and valiantly trying to stay awake while his two fox hole mates (I don’t know what else to call them…) were enjoying their sleep. Note that the word here is TRYING since PFC Sherwin was dozing off and on every few seconds. Until finally he couldn’t resist the temptations to sleep and he did. After a few minutes, someone or something knocking on his helmet rudely awakened him. A quick glance at his fellow grunts told him that they were still fast asleep and so he ignored the knocking on his helmeted head fell asleep again. And once more, he ignored it. Now would be a good time to explain that the nighttime is the time wherein the desert go out and do their ‘thing’. You know, hunt, prowl around and other nighttime acts that I shouldn’t mention. Anyway, as I said earlier, PFC Sherwin ignored the soft knocking on his helmeted head and dozed off. Unfortunately, the tapping sound woke his two fellow grunts up and people; you won’t believe what they saw next. Just above the foxhole was a medium sized desert tortoise and guess what…IT WAS HUMPING ON PFC SHERWIN’S HELMETED HEAD!
Now, people, desert tortoises are normally shy and mild-mannered turtles, unless you interrupt their males while doing… um, mating rituals, then they turn ugly on you and bite off a few of your fingers while at it. Needless to say, Privates Mike and Ian didn’t thought of that first and after getting over their snickers, which started every time they glanced at PFC Sherwin and the desert tortoise ‘private’ moment, they decided to wake the poor guy up.
Naturally, PFC Sherwin freaked out once he realized that a desert cousin of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was violating his helmeted head and jumped, knocking the poor sex crazed turtle (well you would be too if you’d lived in a hot place where the few females were probably several miles away and it will take you a couple of months to reach them, assuming that they were there in the first place.) right in the middle of his reptilian climax, and sending him to the desert ground and the poor helmet splattered with white goo. PFC Sherwin ignored his fox hole mates (that STILL doesn’t sound right…) who were on rolling out on the desert floor laughing at him and removed his helmet and placed it on the ground. He REALLY wanted to kill that fucking turtle right there now but their training officer told them that desert turtles were not to be harmed because they were endangered oh, and the fact that doing that would result in cleaning the barracks for 300 hours. So he did what any sane and ANGRY officer would to do to his subordinate AKA Privates Ian and Mike: he smacked them right in the face to shut them up!
He had just finished beating the crap out of…I mean, shutting his fox hole mates up (really need to come up with another name for it), when suddenly he heard another tapping sound. He glanced and saw the turtle humping his helmet again, though thankfully none of his own body parts was inside the much-violated army gear at of that moment. He heard snickers nearby and saw his fellow grunts looking at the turtle gleefully before finally collapsing in laughter. PFC Sherwin shook his head, he was sure that this story would be heard all around the Fort in the morning after that.
And that, my fellow animal lovers, is how the Desert Tortoise became the mascot of Fort Ir… I mean, of certain US Fort stationed in a desert.










